Culture shock is a well-known phenomenon when moving abroad. Yet the phase of readjustment and possible emotional difficulties when coming back to your home country - reverse culture shock - is often underestimated. Yet many Kiwis face this as they relocate to New Zealand. In this article we answer the most common questions about reverse culture shock, so you can understand the challenges and triggers and be equipped to deal with them.
What is reverse culture shock exactly?
When people return to their own culture, it's not always as easy as they think it might be. Inevitably they've been changed by the experience of living overseas, and life has moved on in NZ while they've been away. Their personal circumstances are often different too - they might have left as a single person and returned with a partner (who may not be a New Zealander) and kids born overseas who've never lived here.
So they are actually returning to a life in NZ they have never lived - say leaving from a shared flat in NZ with a backpack and returning needing a 3 bedroom house, a mortgage and having to understand school zoning!
In fact, reverse culture shock can be worse - because it's unexpected. When moving overseas to a country with a different language/lifestyle/climate, people anticipate challenges. While moving home can in theory seem like going back to what's familiar.
Is it something many returnees experience?
Yes it is. Even if they've been back frequently on holiday, living here permanently is quite different. One of my repatriating clients described it as converting their micro life in NZ (of regular summers at the beach with extended family) into their main life with a lot more detail and responsibilities.
In what ways are Kiwis often affected by reverse culture shock?
Challenges to self esteem and a feeling of not belonging are the main ways people are affected.
Self esteem is challenged in many ways. From little things like having to re-establish a credit-rating if you haven't lived in NZ for a while. To not being known anymore in your profession or industry. People can get thrown by small things like not understanding how the property market works in NZ when you're buying a house - it's very different to say the US or the UK where they might have owned property before.
Belonging is also a big issue - slotting back in can be hard, if you've changed, but family and friends still hold on to who you were before you left. Spouses and kids can really feel this if their whole history is in another country.
Do you think it's something many of the recent returnees to NZ will experience?
Yes, but I do think there will be comfort in numbers. We've never in the country's history had such large scale repatriation of Kiwis - almost 50,000 since March.
Could it be worse given the world is also in the grip of a pandemic?
Yes, we see Kiwis returning who've faced months of stress and anxiety due to COVID, and now have to adjust to NZ on top of that. Also many people probably wouldn't have chosen to come back right now had it not been for the pandemic.
Would you say it could be even more of a challenge for recent returnees given job uncertainty etc?
Yes. People who've been away for a while may be leaving an established career overseas where they are known and respected to come back without a job or having to start again in NZ. This can be difficult in our very relationship-driven business culture, where offshore experience is not always valued or accepted and tall poppy syndrome can come into play. Fitting back into the NZ work culture has its own set of challenges.
Is there typically a honeymoon period before it sets in? Many Kiwis seem to be very grateful just to be back right now.
That depends. Some people find it hard and overwhelming from day one, as they try to find somewhere to live, get a job etc. Others go ahead on adrenaline and excitement when they first arrive, then are hit by reverse culture shock once all the getting-settled tasks are done and they try to establish a new normal. I agree most people are really grateful to be back when they compare life here to what they've left behind, but that doesn't mean they don't find it hard to adjust on a day to day basis.
What advice would you give to those suffering from RCS?
Expect it might happen, and understand what you are going through. Don't feel like you always have to put on a happy and grateful face about being back in NZ. Work hard to establish new friendships, and re-establish ties with family and friends, but also keep in touch with some other Kiwis repatriates so you can share experiences about the highs and lows you'll be going through.
Ask for, and accept help with your re-entry. Get your basic logistical needs sorted as soon as you get out of managed isolation - find somewhere to live, get kids into school, re-start your hobbies/interests. That will give you a platform to build a new life, knowing that it will be different from what you had before you left.
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Bridget is a New Zealander who has lived and worked as a diplomat in Singapore and India. After experiencing all facets of the relocation experience, she founded Mobile to work with private individuals moving to NZ and leading local and international businesses bringing in offshore talent. bridget@mobile-relocation.com
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